A Brief History Of Time

Ok, here is me apologising again for not caring enough about the little ol’ blogosphere.  I’ve been busy.  But I’m here now.

I’m here to tell you about my life so far.  Yes.  In two days I will turn 30.

I don’t know if anyone else thinks about how their life has progressed and wonders if they have done anything decent with the short time they have on this blue and green planet which is mostly harmless (Did I just quote that?!  Geek.)

Well, I don’t have don’t have much time to think, but when I’m on my bike, a lot goes through this little thought box of mine.  This week I have started to think of the highs and lows of the 30 years I have been here.

You can pretty much forget the first 15 years of as nothing is relevant.  All that happens is that you do what you are told and you don’t have your own money to do the things you want.

So, now I am going to try and list some bits which have happened to me (including some stuff from the first 15 years of my life) that I am proud of and ashamed of.  Ok, breathe in and lets go.

1) Appeared on stage (dragged on when I was 5) to appear in panto with Anneka Rice.

2) Performed as a mouse and as Pinocchio in two seperate plays in primary school.  (Oh, the shame).

3) Travelled to various countries around the world.  I’ve done the usual European countries including Amsterdam (8 times by the age of 20).

4) Have toured the USA (in 4 weeks I was called the devil, could have scored crystal meth and crack in Chicago bus station, saw lots of Amish people, got awful British tans in Seattle and Las Vegas.  Saw 2 people arrested on Greyhound buses, met a guy who just got out of prison on a bus. Went for a midnight jog while drunk in a very dodgy neighbourhood in Buffalo, NY.  Heard gunshots while in bed in Vegas.

5) Spent time touring Vienna, Beijing and London with The Lomographic Society.  Staying up for 4 days with half an hour sleep here and there, buying 10 beers and a bottle of vodka for £30 in Beijing.

6) Been out on 2 New Year’s Eve’s on my own as no one wanted to go out.  Once at Sankey’s Soap, Manchester to see Jacques Lu Cont. Once in a warehouse in Napier, New Zealand.  Hanging out with ELEMENOP and Steriogram.  The biggest bands in NZ at the time.  Yeah baby!  They bought me drinks.

7 ) DJ’ed with people like: Shitmat, Eddie Temple Morris, Utah Saints, Simian Mobile Disco and Lemon Jelly.  Missed out on playing with M.I.A.  The silly girl cancelled two days before the show.  Tut.

8 ) DJ’ed at various well known clubnights in Manchester and played at the smallest (Temple Of Convenience) to the largest (Sankeys Soap).

9) Sang karaoke with Elbow.  Oh yes.

10) Shot approximately 20,000 photographs

11) Walked roughly 15,000 miles between my house and Stockport town centre.

12) Had two unsuccessful long term relationships (one went gay…)

So, yes.  That is my life up to now.  Do you think I could sell the rights to a major publisher?  Nah, I didn’t think so.

 

~ by gwane on 29/10/2009.